12-24 months; Simple baby activities to enhance physical development. (Bilingual Kids Co., Ltd インターナショナル幼稚園)

While I have already done a similar post as this for very young babies, this post is for babies aged 12-24 months.  While every stage of your child’s life is important, with some particular aspects the window of opportunity is not left open for long. This is not to say that you have to be as knowledgeable as a doctor or qualified child care giver, or that you need to be obsessively focused on every stage of your child’s physical development, however playing the role of parent does mean that we need to find ways to keep our kids positively stimulated on some sort of a consistent basis.

If you have a baby that is 12 to 24 months old then you may like to consider some of the ideas below as a means to encouraging her physical development.

·      When its bath time, try putting a cup in the bath with her. She will be able to scoop the water with the cup and empty it with one hand. This is a great fine motor skill.

·      Play a game of “pick up”.  Put some small toy objects on the floor and encourage her to put them in the toy basket. Doing this will lead her to bend over when picking up the objects. To do this without toppling over is a skill that she needs to practice at this stage.

·      At mealtime give her a spoon and encourage her to feed herself. As well as learning this important self help skill she will also improve her eye-hand co-ordination.

·      Get your baby to connect and stack blocks. This improves co-ordination and fine motor skills.

·      From a standing position support your baby as little as possible and encourage her to walk. Your 13 month old baby will soon be taking a few steps but she will still need support to sit from a standing position at this stage.

·      Get your baby to push a large ball.  This is great for balance, eye-hand co-ordination and will also promote walking.

·        If you have a sand box, or can go to the park or beach, make sand cakes using cups. The constant action of filling and emptying is great practice for little wrists and fingers.

·      Give you child the largest crayon you can buy.  Scribbling is also great exercise for the wrists and fingers.

·      Do you have stairs? Take her up a few steps and then hold her steady as she tries to crawl further. This is good for gross motor and balance. Be sure to close the gate on your stairs when your done.

·      Place two items of heavy furniture close, so that there is a short gap between them. Your baby can use the furniture as support as she takes her first steps between them.

These are all simple actions which foster both big and small muscle movement. You can come up with an endless variety yourself, of which your baby will decidedly have her favorites. What ever you do, make sure you keep her interested in what is going on around her by switching activities if she shows disinterest or by adding different variations if she is having fun.

This period is a very physical time for your baby. Your baby needs to touch , open, close, and explore and manipulate things as much as possible. Give her stimulating things to touch and play with, such as corrugated cardboard, sandpaper, ice or wool. Baby boys can be particularly energetic during this period, so if you don't have much space at home try and get out to the park each day.

It is also a time for independence. As she transcends from the security of babyhood to the courageous domain of independence, she will need your encouragement, patience and empathy. Your gentle guidance in this respect will shape her character more than you may expect. The guidance you give her now, in making this transition, will surely affect her for the rest of her life.  What she really does not need is a negative emotional response from you as she attempts to experiment with her will. If you come up against a brick wall so to speak, don't scold her, simply let the moment pass (let her energy expend its self) and then gently try a different approach. A mothers patience is definitely a blessing!

When Your Kids Fight. The 9 Tip Plan for mothers. (Bilingual Kids Co., Ltd インターナショナル幼稚園)

If you are a mother with more than one child in the family its possible that your children have experienced some reoccurring conflict in the past. Some unfortunate mothers may often find themselves in the middle of two fighting children who just don't know how to stop. The frequency of conflict can occur differently for each family depending on a variety of factors such as age, gender and the family situation or circumstances. If you are finding that repeated occurrences are becoming a problem, then it may be a good idea to have some kind of conflict management plan in place.  While this may sound complicated, its really just a systemized way of getting your kids to start looking after themselves. An organized mother (or father) can teach their kids the systemized process of avoiding conflict through good habits. Its far more effective for mothers in the long run to approach this problem at its very root rather than to find themselves constantly frustrated and bewildered as each occurrence unfolds. When it comes to unique learning opportunities this is one that will (quite literally) save you a lot of problems down the road.

Conflict resolution is clearly the role of both mothers and fathers. While this plan can be used by both parents, I have most frequently referred to the mother as this parent is more likely to be around their kids more often. This is particularly the case of many young mothers in Japan.

In the following several paragraphs I’ve laid out the basic plan. There is no need to try and remember everything at first, as I have then simplified it in point form for you. This is then followed by some further explanation.

Suppose you're the mother of 2 kids are aged 3 and 6 years old. Regardless of their age, it goes without saying that when you hear your kids fighting you need to then make your presence known to them. This is the first step. Once you are on the scene you can obviously act as a go between by offering some kind of emotional assistance and control over the situation.

The second step is to help your kids clearly identify the problem.  Step 3 is to then help each child respond in an appropriate way. Next allow each child in turn to express themselves while encouraging the other to listen.  Then try to teach the older child the difference between assertive and aggressive behavior.

Still with me? There are just a few more…

The next step is to discuss the choices that your older child makes while steering her in the direction of empathy.

The 7th step for mothers is to acknowledge your 6 year olds attempts at resolving the conflict. Feed back such as this is great for self esteem and this offers your child the encouragement to try again in the future.

Finally, decide on the best option for everyone, and, once you have decided on the best way to meet both the children’s needs, you need to set the option in motion and monitor the results.

Did you get all that?

Of course, nobody said parenting is easy and this is particularly true for mothers.  This plan may certainly not go as smoothly as I have described it at first, but by having this plan clear in your mind you will have a working structure to steer you in the direction of (wait for it…..) Patience.

“Patience is bitter but the fruit is sweet”- Jean Jacques Rousseau

Patience, is indeed a virtue, but this does not mean it has to come naturally. A little scaffolding in the form of a plan such as this can be very supportive and will definitely be greatly more effective than just yelling at your kids.  As you work the plan, each time will become a little easier, until one day you just might notice that the kids are actually doing it for themselves!

“Good character is not formed in a week or a month, it is created little by little, day by day.”  -Heraclitus

Once again, here are the tips in point form.

1)   Step in and offer emotional control.

2)   Help them identify the problem.

3)   Suggest ways to respond.

4)   Keep them talking but focus them on listening.

5)   Help them understand the difference between “aggressive and assertive”.

6)   Discuss choices and talk about empathy.

7)   Acknowledge their efforts and offer positive feed back.

8)   Decide on the best option for everyone.

9)   Monitor results and adjust accordingly.

1)   There is a very good expression that says “Hurt people, hurt people”. This is especially true for kids.  Dropping your mothers calming influence into a volatile mix of emotions will stabilize the situation enough for the next step. Be sure to pay attention to your tone of voice and try to keep it neutral.

2)   By helping them identify the problem you are essentially refocusing their line of thought. Switching them from an emotional state to a considerate frame of mind is a habit that can be soon learned through repetition.

3)   Suggesting ways to respond supports steps one and two and role models examples to move them further away from their emotional state and further toward solving the problem.

4)   A focus on listening rather than talking will open them up to possibilities beyond their current frame of reference. This is particularly relevant for the older child. Gently coax her to listen for an opening, or a way out. Kids are very intuitive and you may be surprised at just how quickly your 6 year old catches on.

5)   Giving them a feel for the grey boundary between “aggressive” and “assertive “will give them a mental space to aim for.  As you continue to repeat this step for each occasion add more and more examples to concrete your child reference point. Over time they will form a reference solid enough to support real confidence.

6)   As mentioned, most of this work needs to be done by the older child. Discussing choices will empower her, but rather than use this against her younger sibling we need to channel this into the right understanding. Talking about empathy will direct her down this path. Remember that this is a great learning opportunity, so don't make her feel like a failure.

7)   For a 6 year old this is a lot of hard work. Acknowledging her efforts makes it so much easier for her to keep up the good work and offering positive feedback will encourage her to take the initiative to solve future conflicts without your intervention.

8)   The “Best option for everyone” largely revolves around being able to save face for all those involved. Some of what goes on will slip passed a very young child, but from the age of 3 a strong sense of self will have developed. Preserving both your children’s dignity by avoiding humiliation or embarrassment is a very important aspect of maintaining their positive self identity. The older the child, the greater their need becomes.

9)   Monitoring the results means keeping aware of the feelings of both children. Younger kids have the ability to let go of emotional states relatively quickly, where as an older child may take longer. Nobody knows your kids like you do, so listen to your intuition and provide more explanation and direction where necessary. Giving your child real life examples from your own childhood will be greatly appreciated by your  children as they move beyond the age of six.

English Daycare/Preschool 7 points to consider when choosing a school (Bilingual Kids Co., Ltd インターナショナル幼稚園)

If you are just starting out on your first quest to find the right English speaking Daycare/Preschool for your kids, I hope that this post aids you in getting there. Its a basic guide, but it may be seen as a relevant position from which to start. There are a lot of things to consider when deciding on which English Daycare or Preschool to send your kids. The bulk of these can be broken down into seven main points. These are;

·      Location of the English Daycare

·      The English Daycare Facilities

·      The English Daycare Fees

·      Distance from home to the English Daycare

·      The English Daycare Teachers

·      Reputation of the English Daycare

·      The English Daycare Program

1) Location of the English Daycare; Lets start with the first on the list, location.  This is often the first thing parents will consider and this is often done in regard to safety. What are the safety concerns? Lets have a look. Firstly, is the school located on a busy main road? (a big problem if your child finds their way out the front door!) Is the school located on solid ground? (Stable ground will keep the building upright in the case of an earthquake) Also, how close is the daycare to local emergency and evacuation facilities?

2) The English Daycare facility; The facility itself is also another big thing at the top of most parents lists.  A clean, safe facility with plenty of space is what most people are looking for. More often than not this has a lot to do with the buildings age. You also want good heating, ventilation and lighting. Are there smoke detectors and fire extinguishers in each room? Are power points covered? Are toddlers prevented from climbing the stairs? Another important question to consider is whether strangers can walk in off the street.  It is also very important that the children have access to a stimulating outside play area on a daily basis.

3) The English Daycare fees; Unfortunately the daycare fees are an area where many young parents come unstuck. Some English Daycare operators are prone to having hidden fees, or overly complicated contracts which lock you in to paying overt amounts should you decide to leave. In many instances unsuspecting parents don't come to fully realize just how much money they will loose until this time. Don't get caught out, make sure you can leave the service anytime with your money still intact.

4) The distance from home to the English Daycare; This particular point has its own special relevance because it's the one point that needs to be considered in relation to all the other points. Everyone wants their daycare to be “close to home”.  However, if the Daycare has most of the good qualities that you are looking for in a school, you could certainly consider it to be close, simply because the alternatives aren’t to your liking. Would you take your child to a poor Daycare/ Preschool purely as a matter of convenience? Most parents would not and will happily go the extra mile for their child’s safety and prosperity. 

5) The English Daycare teachers;  When it comes to childcare a teacher with a degree in mechanical engineering is not going to do you much good just on their own. They should at least be working alongside a Qualified Child Care teacher for guidance. Childcare is a serious business and it’s certainly not worth the risk to leave your child in the hands of unsupervised amateurs. 

There is a very quick and easy way for parents to find out about the teachers at the school. By asking how long each teacher has been at the school, and their qualifications, you can build a rough idea about the culture of the school. School culture is something that is very hard to hide. If the teachers are all leaving after one year on the job, the culture is likely nonexistent with poor working conditions. This is bad, bad, bad, for your child. Good teachers emanate from a good working culture and this in turn will provide staff that have the incentive to continue working in the company. The longer they stay the more the more the teacher learns, resulting in a more stable childcare environment. This is exactly the type of environment your child needs to develop confidence and security.

How many qualified staff are there? Are they CPR Trained? Note how the staff interact with the children. Is the atmosphere welcoming and caring? Staff should be of good character, responsible, and enthusiastic.

6) The reputation of the English Daycare; If the school has been in business for more than three years then it has passed the first market test. Many poorly run businesses will not make it past this point. If it has been in business for ten years then it likely has a good reputation. Even fewer businesses last past the ten year mark. A business that has been going for fifteen or so years, and is still growing, likely has a very good reputation.  Any business that has been going for this length of time will also have left a trail of reviews (good or bad) somewhere on the internet. Do your homework and see what you can dig up. If you have any concerns mention them at your school interview. It is also a good idea to approach other parents at pick up time to get their opinions.

All professional Schools will have established policies, regulations, and procedures for everything. (e.g. They should have a fairly strict sick child policy, a policy for allergies, hand washing, toileting procedures, etc ) If they refuse to openly show you all of these be cautious. While its not likely that they will provide you with full copies of their entire operation manual, they should at least be able to provide you with selected policies if you ask for them.

7) The English Daycare program; There are many different types of programs.

To sort through what’s best you need to have a clear understanding of what you most desire for your child. This may sound a little scary, but when it comes to childcare there is usually some form of unresolved problem that you can see your child facing as they mature. What sort of adult do you want to your child to grow into and what sort of world are they likely to be facing as adults? These are big and far reaching questions that we need to consider now, because while there are many factors that will determine the outcome, we need to remember that a great deal of a child’s personality and thinking is determined by their first eight years of life.

You get from point “A” to point “B” by making a series of decisions that best suit your child’s growing needs along the way. Selecting the childhood program is the very first important step along this path. For example, do you value creativity and a positive can do attitude? or is careful selective thinking your preference? How about a leaning towards mathematics? Daycare, preschools and kindergartens provide solutions towards these  problems through the type of program they provide. As a very basic guide you want a stimulating daily routine, that involves outdoor play, quiet time (reading), and group and individual sessions that are developmentally appropriate.